Still Here (Alleppy, IN)

Today's blog is a bookstore of Indian travel. Have a look around...

In the ARCHITECTURE section, I went to the Taj Mahal. It is very big and very white. I don't really know that I'd call it a Wonder of the World, but it is beautiful and I took plenty of pictures to inflict upon you at a later date. There is lots of amazing inlay work and lots of tourists and lots of Indians trying to scam the tourists with an impressive aray of tactics. I watched the sun set on the Taj from the roof on my guesthouse with a nice American one night and the next morning, as per the advice of a smart girl I know, I took a boat across the trash, I mean river, to the back to watch the sun rise. I was the only one around and it was a lovely and peaceful Indian moment.

Somewhere lost between ENTERTAINMENT, EMPLOYMENT, and HORROR, I arrived in Mumbai aka Bollywood and was immediately asked if I'd like to be an extra in a movie that evening. Having heard this is common and liking the sound of earning some extra rupees, I agreed. Well well. Being an extra in a party scene very quickly morphed into serving shots at tequila promotion which somehow became wearing a long black dress and heels to escort guests up and down the steps at an MSN product launch party. A flashy red carpet paparazzi event supposedly filled with high profile Bollywood stars (not like I would have had a clue), the event production team had hired like 15 Indian girls and 15 Western girls to do the same thing. We were all tripping over each other and our ugly dresses and shoes and it was completely absurd and a little hillarious. I made friends with some nice Argentinians and 600 rupees.

In MYSTERY here's a story. I went from Bombay to Panjim, Goa on one long long train ride where I served as all-day staring material for a gigantic Muslim family with whom I shared a section. I arrived exhausted at 1 am and took an expensive taxi to the guesthouse where I'd made a reservation since I knew I was arriving at 1 am. The guesthouse however, had opted not to keep said reservation (this part clearly goes on the ANGER MANAGEMENT shelf) and the taxi driver, after waiting for a moment, decided he didn't really want to take me anywhere else and went home. I began to wander the dark dark empty streets with my little pack calmly at first, and then after the pack of dogs started chasing me, not so calmly. I found a guesthouse where nobody came to the door and then another with people awake. They were full. I used their phone to call 3 other places. All full. I stepped outside and was about to lose it completely when one of the guys came out and said he'd walk with me. Relieved and then very happy to meet an Indian that wasn't creepy, we walked and checked several places until we found me a room. It was disgusting, but not the street which at the moment was all that really mattered. In the morning I went bought some chocolate to take to thank my new friend Henry and went to the guesthouse where he worked. He wasn't there. Not only that, but nobody working there knew who he was. They said no Henry worked there and couldn't imagine what I was talking about. (Insert Twilight Zone theme here). I ate the chocolate.

ARCHEOLOGY. Hampi. A surreal desert landscape strewn with massive boulders, literal mountains of giant rocks, plus bitty oases of palm trees and rice paddies, not to mention the endless ruins of a giant ancient civilization. Plus lots of Israelis. There are weird towns in India, maybe all over the world for all I know, that have become little havens of Israeli travellers, hummus, and pot. They're generally very plesant if exceptionally odd quiet places with great views. Hampi is one. I stayed in a cute wee hut on the river and explored the ruins of temple after temple all spread out over miles of desert and banana plantation. I don't understand the geology of the landscape for one second, but it's one of the most bizzare and amazingly beautiful things I've ever seen.

In HEALTH & SANITATION, I watched a decently dressed man in nice shoes, slacks, and a relatively clean shirt stand by while a small girl of 4 or 5 clothed in only a t-shirt took an enormous dump directly in front of the entrance to a busy train station. Then he took her hand and they skipped off. Mind you, there were free bathrooms approximately 50 feet away and I know this because I used them, but you see, this is India. Further down the HEALTH shelf, yesterday a man blew a snot rocket on my shoe. You should also know I have a very real fear of having a cockroach crawl into my ear and burrow into my throat or brain to lay eggs which will then hatch so that the larvae are crawling around in me until they are cut out or I die. This is not an urban legend people. Read "Damage Done" or see "Brokedown Palace". It happens. If anyone knows preventative measures, I'd like them. I've been on too many cockroachy trains and buses lately where the fast little things are way to close to my head for comfort. Please help.

In WATER SPORTS, first I went to Kodaikanal, a hill station with absolutely incredible views, great very mini-hikes, and homemade chocolate shops everywhere you turn. Supposedly there are incredible waterfalls, but people forget to tell you that in the current dry season they become anti-climactic piddly streams and you walk way past them thinking you haven't reached the actual waterfall yet. There is however, all year round, a pretty lake where like a good Indian tourist in a hot pink saree straight off the luxury bus, you can row a boat around. Actually, if you're Indian, you hire someone to row it for you. If you're me, you row it yourself taking turns with an absolutely crazy English girl, a nice French guy, and a really great Israeli chef. Next up in WATER SPORTS is tomorrow's ferry ride through the Keralan backwaters.

Scattered about elsewhere in the Indian madness are stops in Pushkar, a pretty little desert town and another Israeli haven of delicious fruit salads and general westerness; Udaipur, a beautiful city on a twinkly lake with pretty palaces and a great guesthouse with a gorgeous rooftop and a great courtyard where I made lots of nice friends and drank lots of Kingfisher; Old Goa filled with giant cathedrals left by the Portuguese; Mysore, a nice busy regular Indian city with a delicious sweet shop called Bombay Tiffanys; adorable and quiet Fort Cochin with spice shops and giant fishing nets; and the "Venice of the East" also known as Alleppy where I sit typing this and thinking that though the canals and the palm trees are really great, whoever came up with that Venice comparison was a bit generous. After the backwaters tomorrow it's off to Pondicherry which is very exciting if you've read "Life of Pi" and next Wednesday, Africa. I keep meeting people who tell me I'm going to get mugged. I'm trying not to listen to them. I think they're wrong. Miss you all.